It all came too fast. The phone calls, making and remaking airline reservations. Packing making arraignments for Nene and the animals. Can't believe this all started Friday afternoon. Woke up this morning at 5am to China wanting to go outside. Since the alarm was set for 6, i figured it was best to just get up and get started.
Twelve hours later I am here. In his bedroom. He is not awake now, and his last morphine and atavan was at 3am. They say he can hear me, but I just don't know. How selfish of me to want a response from him. What am I thinking? What is he thinking? Is he dreaming? Does he really know that I am here?
I keep obsessing on our last phone call. Thursday night. "I don't think I can do this much longer" plays over and over in my head.
Obsessing is for the past. You have come such a distance to help him find his way and when the time is right, help him let go. You on this side and Peter on the other will help guide him. I see him running through a beautiful forest. It is both beautiful and frightening but he feels exhilarated at how fast his can move. I know as soon as his is ready, he will know his is running to reach heaven and the forest is a reflection of Eden. When this happens he will run joyously into Peter's arms and they will begin another journey, making plans for coming back and help heal the world.
ReplyDeleteMy wonderful children and daughter-in-law are making this difficult time a transition of peace and togetherness. How fortunate to have such a wonderful family. Love, Mikell
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